Monday, December 22, 2014

Donata: In the Mind of a Victim
Review, giveaway and guest blog!

"Use the darkness of your past to propel you to a brighter future."
-Donata Joseph

Author Bio

Donata Joseph believes in making her mark and changing lives. In 2011, Ms. Joseph founded Adding Doses of Hope Daily Foundation to empower families of children with Attention Deficient Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). She wanted to share her experiences, challenges and
tips for raising two children diagnosed with ADHD. 

In 2012, she decided to break the silence and address the escalating issue of Domestic Violence. Her blog, Behind Closed Doors, chronicled a seven-year abusive relationship. The post elicited responses from people all over the world. The Foundation sponsors events and programs that bridge the gap between mental health and healthy relationships. Through motivational speaking, youth mentoring and parenting education, she encourages, empowers and elevates individuals in all walks of life to reflect on their overall mental wellness. Prior to founding Adding Doses of Hope Daily foundation,
Ms. Joseph volunteered in a variety of community settings, including nonprofit organizations, youth centers and churches. 

In 2013, Ms. Joseph created DONATA, a natural skin care line that also offers skincare, nutrition and health seminars. She uses this platform to empower teens and adults to see the connection between
their minds, bodies and spirits. The proceeds from DONATA help fund programs for Adding Doses of Hope Daily Foundation. 

Ms. Joseph obtained her Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology from Florida International University with an emphasis in Behavioral Analysis. She was a research assistant in the University’s Center for Children and Families, where she focused on research and treatment of evidence-based approaches in child and adolescent mental health.
She lives in Miami, Florida with her three children.

Author Links - 

Book Genre: Self-Help|Inspirational
Publisher: Adding Doses of HOPE Daily
Release Date: December 7, 2014
Buy Link(s): Amazon

Book Description:
In this soul-bearing book, Donata Joseph reveals why she stayed in a seven-year abusive relationship and the incident that motivated her to leave.
She talks honestly about the judgmental remarks elicited from family and friends who did not understand the emotional, familial and financial complexity of her situation or why she did not recognize herself as a victim.
In a heart-wrenching chapter, Ms. Joseph discusses the impact her abusive relationship had on her two teen daughters and young son and the ensuing parent-child conversations that changed all of their lives. 
If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, consider recommending this book. Ms. Joseph wraps up her knowledge, wisdom and advice in a non-threatening
package delivered with compassion and understanding.

My Thoughts:
Such a hard topic to even read about. Abusive relationships are just so...complex. I am glad that the typical cycle of abuse was shown as this might help some whose abusers are, perhaps deliberately, confusing them.
And why do we call them abusive "relationships" anyway...when quite often one of the people is in no way loyal to the other? I feel sorrow for the two daughters and the time it will take for this legacy to work its way out of the family. I hope there are no repercussions to Ms. Joseph for writing this book and I am so glad that she was able to speak out. I also wish Ms. Joseph the gift of finding a true and right love.
We are homeschooling parents, well on the verge of homeschooling...we have a Preschooler and Toddler will be starting soon after. We had planned on including discussion of Domestic Violence in their Health Classes. I am glad that teen dating violence was brought up here-it's something you don't really think of if you have never been exposed to anyone committing such. The book pointed out that 1 in 3 teens experience dating violence!
I would love to see another writing of this book after Donata has healed for some time. I have a feeling this would be a very powerful thing to read!



It takes one time…

These stories that I’m hearing or reading are heartbreaking. Ladies, we need to empower ourselves to know that we are worth more than the relationships we allow ourselves to be in. Being with a partner that verbally, physically or emotionally abuses you is NOT acceptable. I understand we make excuses for our partners and that’s what keeps us in these relationships but who are we truly hurting, them or ourselves… or worse, our children. Some of us don’t even realize how bad our situation is until it’s too late, like one story you will read below. Some of us feel that our partner will change or God will change them – what if that doesn’t happen then what?

I recently heard a story of a woman where her mate beat her; she didn’t leave but allowed herself to believe that God forgave him. I can’t judge if God did or didn’t but when it happens again, because it will, what excuse will you use to comfort yourself then. People that abuse people don’t wake up one day and stop; they have to go through a process either counseling, anger management, church…Etc. They have to realize and accept that what they are doing is wrong and WANT to change. Regardless of the method, there is a process that must take place. We automatically assume that they changed because they asked for forgiveness, promise that they will never do it again, cry, give flowers and are the sweetest person for a few days…. on the other hand we are so blind we don’t realize that’s just another part of the domestic violence cycle called the honeymoon phase. Trust me; I know we think FINALLY it won’t happen again. WRONG, the next thing that makes them snap all hell breaks loose and we are the punching bags again… this time the question is         WILL WE SURVIVE…

Here is a story I read today (8/2012)– what breaks my heart is where she tweeted “Wouldn’t be so bad if he ain’t tried 3 times before, But I’m Gods Child ain’t never scared” – that’s the  same day he killed her. God can only do so much, he gives us the tools to make wise chooses. We can’t stand in front of a bus and not expect to get killed. I’m not in any way putting this young girl down or saying she deserved this by any means. My point is the God issue, it’s like the other story where she said God forgave her boyfriend, that’s great STILL don’t continue to stay in harm’s way to wait for God to have to forgive him again after another violent attack. We use God to make excuses for them did it ever occur that maybe God didn’t choose that person for us. Let’s think of it that way and allow ourselves to break free from these violent relationships.

If a guy can threaten to kill you TRUST that he probably will. Forget that he said it 100 times before, it takes him to SNAP ONE TIME and you’re done. Some make it out alive some don’t. Don’t take that chance, no relationship is worth it…                      
RIP to another DV victim: Woman found murdered 2 days after calling 911 for help

~Donata Joseph #adhdfdn #E3Yourself

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